I am on a roll to lose these rolls... because that is how I roll!

YEAH.... I am on a roll to lose these rolls... because THAT IS HOW I ROLL!

Too bad I can't have a ROLL!

OOOOH... what a night working out... let me tell ya.

So, I have been excited ALL DAY about the dance class at the Courthouse tonight. The class is AMAZING... It made me miss my dancing days from high school and college! The choreography is rather impressive as well! I AM SO PUMPED! So... yesterday I went to Jazzy Dancer to get me some new Blochs (these are super cool split soled dance shoes that I had in college... LOVE THEM). Like I said before... If I am going to be the fattest and ugliest person in the class... I AM AT LEAST GONNA HAVE GOOD SHOES. Those of you who know me well... know that I like shoes.

*Since I can no longer fit into REALLY cute clothes, I find that I like to compensate for it with cute shoes and FABULOUS bags! The bigger the purse, the better! I love em!

Anyway.... so I arrived at the Cypress Lake Courthouse and got there in time to do ABS CLASS! WHOO HOO! My friend, Morgan, came as well... we were all excited about the Abs class and Dance class! I made it through the Abs class... 15 MINUTES OF HELL, PEOPLE... but I DID NOT GIVE UP... I was able to hang in there! It is funny how you don't quit when you know all the skinny chickies will look at you and think, "That fat girl doesn't even have abs... so what in the heck does she think SHE is doing?"

After Abs... WE DANCED! The instuctor, Tina, was SUPER NICE! I was ALL READY... do you hear me... READY! A few more people came in just before the class started... some of them were in high school or college... (you could tell). The class started... I didn't know the choreography, like most of the people did. The instructor said to see what we could pick up if we had never been in there... but not to worry because next week WE GET TO LEARN A BRAND NEW ROUTINE!

So, Morgan and I are hanging in there... we aren't getting in all, but I look down at my heart rate monitor and I see that my heart rate is 178... so HECK YEAH... I AM BURNING THE CALORIES! YAY!

Then.... GUESS WHAT HAPPENED!!!!!!!!! OOOOOOOH........ UGH! This little HIGH SCHOOL OR COLLEGE CHICKIE comes in LATE... yeah that is right... LATE... She is BEAUTIFUL... no doubt... black dance pants, red top with her tummy showing.... LONG, BEAUTIFUL brown hair with the sweet little curls.... her make up was perfect... jewelry... yeah.... you get the picture... We shall call her "DANCING BARBIE"

SHE STANDS RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME! I can no longer see the instructor... the only part of myself I can see in the mirror, is the part that sticks out on the edges of her skinny rear end....

Skinny Barbie knows ALL THE MOVES... yeah... she's been there before... She was twirling and kicking and slinging that hair all in my face... NOW DANCING BARBIE HAS NAPPY HAIR TO ME. I am upset with her... she is showing me up... making me look stupid on purpose... she has it all... the look, the hair, the moves... the body... I DISLIKE HER!

So... as I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror again while I am BEHIND because I don't know the steps... I notice that the purple shirt I am wearing makes me look like Grimace (the big fat purple character from McDonald's)or perhaps Barney! I can't decide if I should cry or start singing, "I love you, you love me... I should hang my fat tail from a tree..."

Before I had a mini breakdown in the middle of the gym, I look at Morgan.... she is perky and blonde and has a great figure... DESPITE THE FACT THAT SHE HAS 4 YEAR OLD TWINS....
She says, "Okay... enough!" We gathered our things... and hit a few weights....

As I am working my arms, I reflect on the 15 MINUTES I spent in dance class... (THAT IS CORRECT... 15 STINKIN' MINUTES is all I made it)!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I decided that I will be there next week and learn ALL THE NEW MOVES... THEN I WILL SHOW DANCING BARBIE HOW WE ROLLED IN THE 1990s!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH!

I was a part of the 1996 American All Star Dance team and I performed in London, England in the International Goodwill Performance Tour! Dancing barbie doesn't know this... YET! And when I lose enough weight that I can see my cute shoes again... I am going to ROLL RIGHT over her... in the mean time... I might smack her with one of my rolls as I twirl around NEXT WEEK!

Ain't nothin' gonna break my stride! Not even dancing barbie!

After the gym, I went to Kroger to pick up steamed shrimp for the salad Ben and I had for dinner! I WON'T EVEN MENTION the ROLLS I smelled and had to pass up on the bread aisle... Those are not the GOOD ROLLS I need to focus on....

So... Until next time... please think of me while I continue to be on a roll to lose these rolls because that is how I roll.... although I can't eat a roll!