THE SEXY DANCE... NOT SO SEXY!

Okay.... so several of my friends write to me and tell me to keep them posted on what sort of workouts I am doing to "KEEP THIS FUN"... so here is an update. Please keep in mind as you read this people, that I SAID I WOULD PUT IT ALL OUT THERE, so here it is..... (I hope you are sitting down)!

Last night I got home and I said to Ben, "I think I will change things up a little tonight." I then went to the Comcast On Demand section and selected the Exercise and Fitness option. Oh yeah... I found some GREAT cardio workouts on there. I did a little cardio warm up, then I did some Abs... ohhhhhhh I was FEELIN' it for SURE! Then a big burst of excitement ran through me as I noticed there were some CARDIO DANCE STUFF ON THERE! So the first little hip hop routine was a lot of fun. I was BURNING THE CALORIES for sure. I caught on so well. I was PROUD!!! Mt hear rate was up and I was jammin'! Then I saw that there was a "SEXY DANCE" routine that was to help my abs and legs.

So here is what happened... (Oh, Gosh... this is SO hard to admit)... uh... The girl came on the screen with her little skinny posse! I immediately loved what they were all wearing. Color coordinated little outfits. You know... the same color sports bras with the bright colored work out tops that hang of the shoulders a little bit. It was like LOVE OF THE 80s without all of that hair! YOU KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT!

We started with a little sexy hip motion. I had this down in no time and I believe I was lookin' pretty good! I was even sort of hoping that Ben would walk through the living room so he could be like, "Dang, wifey... you are lookin' GOOD!" So realizing that I was burning the calories and I was REALLY FEELING THE BURN... I decided to put ALL I HAD INTO IT, especially since Ben might see me and be OH SO PROUD! Well... suddenly- little chickie instructor on the screen decided that we should all do this "SEXY MOVE"- as she called it- where you spread your legs a part and squat in a way that would stretch all of your leg muscles, your behind and even keep work those abs some more. Then as you are in this sort of SITTING position, you stick your behind out and bend back up in a rolling fashion. I must admit, it looked pretty sexy when they all did it, so I became very excited. I even thought... Hmmmm... Carma Electra has NOTHING ON ALL OF THIIIIIISSSSSSS! Yeah... that was until I put all I had into the second motion and RIPPED THE SEAM OUT OF THE ASS OF MY PANTS!

At this point, my heart rate went up and it was NOT because I was working out. Have any of you been embarrassed of YOURSELF... IN YOUR OWN HOME? It is devastating! My heart was racing and I wanted to cry. I then decided that I "wanted to sit in the floor and do sit ups" so that Ben wouldn't think I was throwing in the towel so soon on my nightly work out. I actually just wanted to sit down on the floor because I didn't even want my husband to know that his FATTY WIFE ripped out the seam of the butt of her pants while working out! I mean... ARE YOU KIDDING ME? What else can happen, really?

I am OBESE, my Mii looks like the Michilan Man, I am sore, tired, hungry and now I have ripped the butt out of my best work out pants... Oh... and there is NOTING SEXY ABOUT THIS! GOD HELP ME!

Thank goodness this didn't happen at the gym. I probably would have suffered that heart attack that I am diligently trying to avoid and just DIED on the spot!

So.... All of you who are really working to lose a good bit of weight! HANG IN THERE! This is no easy task. There will be peaks and a WHOLE LOT OF VALLEYS!

Anyone who wants to workout with me... let me know; however, I must warn you... YOU MIGHT END UP SEEING MORE OF ME THAN YOU BARGAINED FOR! Just ask my pants!

Until next time... I will work to make that sexy dance sexy!